Flatterbird Mind

Psychotherapy is not always one-to-one: for certain problems, group therapy is more effective. Sharing experiences in a group can be genuinely beneficial. All too often, people are convinced to no-one understands what it is like to have their problem, so when they discover that other share their feelings, it is often a great relief.

People suffering from serious illness may meet together under the direction of a nurse or social worker to discuss their concerns. Family therapy is useful in dealing with childhood and adolescent behavioral problems, while couple therapy can help to untangle the complexities of a troubled relationship.

Co-counseling takes place between two people within a group who take turns to be therapist and client. If a person develops an empathy with the co-counseling partners, the technique can be very helpful, without the cost of a personal therapist.

But the partners must stick to certain rules – no interrupting while the other person is speaking, no giving advice and no passing judgement – and these can be difficult to follow. Observe yourself when you are next listening to a friend talk about his or her problems. How many times did you interrupt, perhaps to recount a similar experience of your own?

Most people will gain something from a talking therapy. However, for therapy to be successful, it is vital to match the type of therapy to the persona and the specific problem.

How to be a Good Listener

It is neither practical nor desirable to use psychotherapy for every problem in life. People can help each other with their problems through sensitive listening. Being a good listener is harder than it sounds, so here are some tips:

• Dent interrupt; if you want to ask for clarification, wait for a natural break.
• Don’t just listen to your friend’s words – look at the body language to gauge his or her feelings.
• Watch your own responses – do you have a ‘blind spot’ when it comes to haring views that differ from your own? Do you, for instances, tense up or switch off when someone says something you disagree with? This can be a huge barrier to being a good listener.
• If you find yourself longing to interrupt, try to re-focus on what is being said.
• Don’t offer advice or opinions, unless asked – even them, think carefully before you speak. Try to be open minded and see the problem from their perspective.

Psychodynamic therapies focus on the unconscious, while the supportive therapies concentrate on conscious thought processes. Some of the main forms practiced include:

---

Psychodynamic therapies:

• Freudian psychotherapy: (psychoanalysis) seek to uncover childhood sexual conflicts through the analysis of dreams.
• Jungian psychotherapy: uses elements of mythology, symbols and dreams to probe the mind.
• Adlerian psychotherapy: fosters self-confidence by overcoming feelings of inferiority rooted in childhood.
• Kleinian psychotherapy: focuses on early childhood experiences.
• Humanistic psychotherapy: concentrates on spiritual growth potential, looking forwards not back.
• Rogerian psychotherapy: client-centered and on judgmental, and assumes the patient is best able to deal with personal problems.
• Gestalt psychotherapy: emphasizes integrating all aspects of experience, encouraging the patient to develop full awareness of the present moment.

---

Supportive therapies:

• Cognitive therapy: aimed to replace negative thought patterns with more logical and realistic ones.
• Behavioral therapy: focuses on the immediate problem and the circumstances surrounding it.
• Rational-emotive therapy: sues logic, authority, and persuasion to help the patient give up irrational ideas or unreasonable expectations.
• Transactional analysis: examines the different roles a person plays in life (such as ‘child’ or ‘parent’) and helps the person develop a more realistic, constructive attitude.
• Counseling: often directed at specific problems – such as bereavement – and involves listening to clients and helping them to understand their problems.
• Co-counseling: involves an equal relationship between two people, who take it turns to talk and listen.

---

Other Therapies:

• Group therapy: valuable where interpersonal difficulties are a key part of the problem.
• Family therapy: used where therapy directed at just one member of the family and may not resolve matters.
• Art therapy: involves painting, drawing or sculpture to express emotions associated with a problem.
• Neurolinguistics programming (NLP): looks at how we experience the world and applied this knowledge to alter behaviors that limit us.
• Life coaching: involves a personal coach who will help the individual to tackle specific problems. The coach discusses and monitors progress and set goals.
• Eclectic approaches: combine therapies to sit the individual’s character, circumstances and problem.

The common image of an addict is of someone hooked on heroin or cocaine. But most addicts will probably never have seen hard drugs. Alcohol, nicotine and certain prescription drugs, as well as some types of activity, such as gambling and even shopping, can all be addictive. Whatever the substance, addictions can do wide-ranging damage to physical and mental health.

Even when affected by smoking-related diseases, some smokers just cannot overcome their addiction to nicotine. Heavy drinkers can blights their lives – from relationship problems to unfulfilled potential at work – through alcohol abuse.

In some people, the drive to keep consuming certain substances or to repeat a certain types of behavior is overwhelming, even when the consequences are disastrous. But what drives this self-destructive behavior?

The Roots of Addiction

Addiction – also known as dependence – develops gradually through a complex interaction between the user, the substance (or behavior) and their environment. Dependence usually arises from increase tolerance of a substance or behavior: two glasses of wine in the evening becomes four, or the midweek lottery becomes as unmissable as the weekend flutter. Once a craving has set in, behavior is profoundly influenced by the need for more of the same.

There are a wide range of addictive substances: nicotine and alcohol are two of the most obvious. Others include painkillers, slimming pills, laxatives, and illegal drugs such as cocaine and heroin. Less obvious candidates to add the list include caffeine, sugar, chocolate and junk food.

Gambling is a major behavioral addiction, but there are a host of others arousing concerns among health experts, such as working long hours, surfing the internet, exercise, video games, television and even sex.

Addiction: In the Genes?

As knowledge of the brain and of human genetics has developed, addiction has come to be seen as an illness. There does appear to be a generic factor for alcohol and smoking dependence. One 1960s study looked at the smoking behavior of 42 pairs of twins who had been raised apart.

In 18 pairs, both twins were non-smokers, while 15 pairs smoked. Only in nine of the pairs did the twins not show the same behavior. This strongly suggests a genetic influence.

Real Lives: The Shopaholic

Barbara died of cancer just before her 80th birthday. At least it had been quick, but she had not stopped smoking – even when she was ill. Barbara had always been a heavy smoker, explained her sister Mary, ever since she was young women during World War II. She drank a lot of black coffee too - at least 20 cups a day.

However, what really startled Mary was her discovery when she came to sort out Barbara’s flat. There was drawer after drawer of pretty underwear – most of it unworn. In the wardrobe she found over 40 jumpers, still in their carrier bags, and around 60 dresses. She counted 102 pairs of shoes, most of them brand new.

There were two more wardrobe in the spare room, both crammed with clothes. The kitchen was full of unused gadgets. There were seven televisions around the flat. Barbara’s husband had left her comfortably off but there was not much left for Mary, her only relative. Mary wasn’t worried by that – she was just astounded that she had never known about her sister’s shopping addiction.

Treating Addictions

There are various approaches to the treatment of addiction. Medication is sometimes used to treat alcohol, nicotine, shopping and food addictions. Nicotine patches, for example, can help to wean someone off cigarettes, while the drug Antabuse (disulfiram), which is used to treat alcoholism, replaces the sensation of pleasure that the person gets from drinking with nausea.

However, fighting the physical addiction is just part of the story; most addicts need to learn new attitudes and patterns of behavior if they are to succeed in the long term. Behavioral therapy can be very effective against additions.

One strategy involves rewarding the individual for reaching certain goals. Above all, people should not be punished for addictions, but encouraged to adopt more positive behaviors that provide the same psychological rewards without indulging the addiction.

Five Stages of Recovery

To overcome an addiction successfully, there are a number of stages that must be worked through.

1. Acknowledging the problem – Becoming aware of the addiction and acknowledging it is the first step towards recovery.
2. Building awareness – A period of honest thinking about the effects of the addiction and ways to bat it.
3. Resolving to stop – The decision to give up an addiction demands strong resolution and must come from the addicted person themselves. Joining an appropriate group –f form Weight watchers to Gamblers Anonymous – can help maintain the resolve to beat the addiction.
4. Changing behaviors – Establishing different habits and activities to avoid situations associated with the addiction can be crucial in the early stages of overcoming it. In the long term, a new perspective, attitude and lifestyle should develop.
5. Keeping vigilant – For many people, the final stage of recovery is without end. Keeping free from addiction becomes a lifetime process of reinforcing healthy new behaviors, and ultimately, leading the path to a happy and fulfilling life.

Eventually most people diagnosed with a chronic illness start to accept their condition. Most chronic illness requires patients to do something for themselves: dietary changes and quitting smoking after a heart attack or stroke, keeping to a medication schedule in many illnesses, and with cancer, being watchful for recurrence. Patients who take a realistic and practical attitude are more likely to have a positive outcome.

Other issues affect how people cope with chronic illness. Studies show that patients who believe they can exert some control over illness – usually, by actively participating in treatment – have a better chance of recovery: cancer patients who feel in control adjust better to the demands of their condition, as do those with rheumatoid arthritis, AIDS, spinal cord injury and patients recovering from a heart attack.

Many people with a chronic illness feel that their sense of self is eroded and that the illness makes them a different person. However, difficult it seems, sufferers need to realize that they are still the same person, irrespective of their condition. For example, a man does not cease to be a loving husband because he has a debilitating illness.

Some people have even found that chronic illness has some benefits, in that it encouraged them to focus on what is important in life, and encourage them to live a meaningful and quality lifestyle. Many discover that the condition leads them to appreciate each day more and motivates them to do things that they had previously postponed.

Real Live Story: Living with Cancer

John Diamond, the British journalist and broadcaster who died of throat cancer in March 2001, chronicled the progress of his illness in a newspaper column. He wrote about his experiences of the disease and its effects in an honest and at times humorous way, and in doing do became an inspiration to many people.

Diamond tried to undo some illusions about what it means to be a cancer sufferer, pointing out that undergoing cancer treatment is not really a battle between the patient and the disease: ‘I am not fighting cancer,’ he said, ‘although my doctors are, I hope…’ He wanted to debunk the notion that cancer could be beaten if you tried hard enough.

Despite his illness, Diamond’s self-image did not change because he could continue to do the thing he liked best – writing.

Many of us will have to cope with chronic illness at some stage in our lives, ranging from high blood pressure or artistic to hearing loss or physical disability. Whatever the diagnosis, there are ways of adapting mentally.

At any one time, around half of the population is suffering from a chronic illness of some kind. As we live longer, more and more of us are going to have to learn to manage a condition for which there is no cure. Some chronic illness have little immediate effect on everyday life, for example, high blood pressure has few obvious symptoms, but must still be regarded as a serious condition because it can cause heart diseases and stroke. By contrast, an illness such as Alzheimer’s disease will affect a person’s ability to live an independent life in quite a short time.

Dealing with a Diagnosis

Psychologists have charted a general pattern of response to the diagnosis of chronic illness. Whether the illness is life threatening, like cancer, or not, like arthritis or hearing loss, the response can be similar to that experienced after ta bereavement. Perhaps this is not surprising, for a diagnosis, people may feel shocked or distressed. There might also be a sense of relief, after months of tests and uncertainty, many people sat they prefer knowing what they are up against.

Overcoming Opposition

A determined attitude and ever-improving technology can help people with disability or illness not just to keep active but to excel in their chosen field.

How to Break the News

For those people diagnosed with a serious illness, it can be hard to break the news to family and friends. However, it is best to get family support as early as possible. Anyone diagnosed with a chronic condition might find the following points helpful:

1. Be brave, and bring up the subject yourself.
2. Make sure you have the person’s full attention.
3. Begin by saying something like, ‘You know I went to the hospital for some tests recently?’
4. Try not to deviate from the subject, however uncomfortable you feel.
5. Do not be afraid to say how you feel – they will understand that this is a difficult moment.
6. Non-verbal contact, such as holding hands, a hug, or sitting together may help you communicate your feelings.

It is difficult to predict how people will respond to the situation. In the long-term, they are likely to be resilient and accepting, whatever their initial reaction, but be prepared for those are not supportive, for example, a friend may find the illness an unwelcome reminder of mortality and start to avoid you. However, most people will care and will want to do all they can to help you through such a difficult time.